Tusk Talk with Tusk Harper

Dear Tusk,

I consider myself to be a very fair, loyal employee. While most people see me and immediately think of my former employer, I’ve been completely shocked by the complete cold shoulder that some of my old coworkers have shown me since I came public with some constructive criticism of the company’s practices and personalities. Is there something I’m missing?

From: Hopeless on Houston St.

Dear Hopeless,

It seems to me like you may have bitten off more than you can chew. Unless you are disclosing illegal or unethical behavior, nobody likes a snitch. Even fewer people respect former employees who stand up to criticize after-the-fact, particularly with a holier-than-thou attitude. My instinct tells me that you may not have been such a great steward for your former company after all, and then you have nobody to blame but yourself.

Dear Tusk,

My girlfriend and I have been together for the past three years. I have been thinking about marrying her until we last week when we had a discussion about whether or not she would have an abortion. She said that if a pregnancy was not planned she would consider it and that goes against my values. Can she still be the one?

From: Pro-Life in Poughkeepsie

Dear Pro-Life,

I applaud your strong sense of values and can understand your concerns. However, why did it take three years to first have this conversation? By that point you should have known her deepest feelings and this topic would not have been so surprising to you. Your worry has merit except for one fact – you’ve been together for so long that, if things were to progress, within two years this won’t be an issue. I would look deep inside and ask yourself whether her stance on abortion is truly the area of anxiety or whether there is something greater. If you both agreed on the life issue, would she have a ring on her finger? If the answer is yes, then start saving your money. If the answer is no, then you should sort out your relationship priorities and determine whether she truly is the one for you. Be careful of making this issue the scapegoat, though.

Questions? Write Tusk at tuskharper@yahoo.com.